How to help someone stop gambling

If your loved one has a gambling problem, you likely have many conflicting emotions.

You may have spent a lot of time and energy trying to keep your loved one from gambling or having to cover for them. At the same time, you might be furious at your loved one for gambling again and tired of trying to keep up the charade. Your loved one may have borrowed or even stolen money with no way to pay it back. They may have sold family possessions or run up huge debts on joint credit cards.

While compulsive and problem gamblers need the support of their family and friends to help them in their struggle to stop gambling, the decision to quit has to be theirs. As much as you may want to, and as hard as it is seeing the effects, you cannot make someone stop gambling. However, you can encourage them to seek help, support them in their efforts, protect yourself, and take any talk of suicide seriously.

Preventing suicide in problem gamblers

When faced with the consequences of their actions, problem gamblers can suffer a crushing drop in self-esteem. This is one reason why there is a high rate of suicide among compulsive gamblers.

If you suspect your loved one is feeling suicidal, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline in the U.S. at 1-800-273-8255 or visit Befrienders Worldwide to find a suicide helpline in your country.

Four tips for family members:

1. Start by helping yourself. You have a right to protect yourself emotionally and financially. Don’t blame yourself for the gambler’s problems or let his or her addiction dominate your life. Ignoring your own needs can be a recipe for burnout.
2. Don’t do it alone. It can feel so overwhelming coping with a loved one’s gambling addiction that it may seem easier to rationalize their requests “this one last time.” Or you might feel ashamed, feeling like you are the only one who has problems like this. Reaching out for support will make you realize that many families have struggled with this problem.
3. Set boundaries in managing money. To ensure the gambler stays accountable and to prevent relapse, consider taking over the family finances. However, this does not mean you are responsible for micromanaging the problem gambler’s impulses to gamble. Your first responsibilities are to ensure that your own finances and credit are not at risk.
4. Consider how you will handle requests for money. Problem gamblers often become very good at asking for money, either directly or indirectly. They may use pleading, manipulation, or even threats to get it. It takes practice to ensure you are not enabling your loved one’s gambling addiction.

Do’s and don’ts for partners of problem gamblers

Do…

• Talk to your partner about their problem gambling and its consequences when you’re calm and not stressed or angry.
• Look for support. Self-help groups for families of problem gamblers, such as Gam-Anon, for example, can introduce you to people who’ve faced the same obstacles.
• Explain to your partner that you’re seeking help because of how their gambling affects you and the family.
• Talk to your children about your partner’s problem gambling.
• Take over management of your family finances, carefully monitoring bank and credit card statements.
• Encourage and support your loved one during treatment of their gambling problem, even though it may be a long process peppered with setbacks.

Don’t…

• Lose your temper, preach, lecture, or issue threats and ultimatums that you’re unable to follow through on.
• Overlook your partner’s positive qualities.
• Prevent your partner from participating in family life and activities.
• Expect your partner’s recovery from problem gambling to be smooth or easy. Even when their gambling stops, other underlying problems may surface.
• Bail your partner out of debt or enable their gambling in any way.
• Cover-up or deny your partner’s problem to yourself or others.

Child and teen gambling

Even though it’s often illegal for children or teens to gamble, many do so anyway. Kids and teens may gamble in-person during card games with friends, at arcades, or online. According to a UK survey in 2024, about a quarter of 11- to 17-year-olds had spent money on gambling within the past 12 months.

Childhood gambling problems might be fueled or exacerbated by the sheer amount of exposure to gambling content online. Research from 2021 found that 45 percent of 11- to 17-year-olds reported seeing gambling ads at least once a week via social media. As a parent, though, your influence can also be important. Here are steps you can take to help your child or teen avoid a gambling addiction:

Look for signs of gambling. Your teen may talk openly about placing bets on games with friends, or they may seem preoccupied with online sites, apps, or events that are associated with gambling. The signs could also be more subtle. They may have less money than usual, for example, frequently ask for money, or get overly excited or upset over the results of a sports event.

Be a role model. Avoid gambling in front of your child or saying things that might encourage making reckless bets. If you gamble, demonstrate the importance of doing so responsibly and in moderation.

Explain gambling. Rather than avoid the subject entirely, talk to your child or teen about how gambling works. Emphasis how low the odds of winning can be, and how easy it is to lose money in pursuit of an unlikely payout.

Restrict their access to gambling content and opportunities. Although you can monitor them, it might be difficult, and perhaps even counterproductive, to try to completely control a teenager’s activities. However, you can limit the amount of screen time and social media access a younger child has or use parental controls to steer them away from gambling sites.