Why are frogs always so happy? They eat what ever bugs them
Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Her: Awww… Yes!!!
Me: Good then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
Boy: The principal is so dumb!
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Girl: I am the principal’s daughter!
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Boy: Good! *Walks away*