MEZIESBLOG

Our primary relationships often set the tone for the rest of our experiences.

We expect to be able to come home and relax our guard, to be authentic without the risk of excess judgement or the fear of being taken advantage of. To be our best, we need our relationships to be our stable ground from which we grow into the rest of our lives.

And so when home is more unpredictable wobble board than sanctuary, the effects extend outwards. Much like an infant with an insecure attachment to a parent shows less confidence in exploring the world, an adult that doesn’t feel safe in their primary relationship may hesitate to to take risks or be prone to excess worry.

Of course, not all anxiety or insecurity is relationship-based. Yet if your symptoms increase when you’re around your partner or are primarily present at home, this may the root cause of your stress. Also pay attention to a lasting sense of “walking on eggshells.” This feeling is common during times of stress or transition, but if it continues, it indicates that you are afraid of triggering a reaction.

Often people are surprised when they feel calmer and more confident when a significant relationship ends. But it’s not surprising at all when they never felt safe within that relationship.