It’s true that nobody wants to be lonely or cheated in all true relationships, but individual spaces are a necessity in marriages.
Most married couples never realize they need some space from their better halves until they feel choked up at a point.
Of course, everyone reacts when there’s a back on the wall — to a greater or lesser degree.
Marriage counselors would agree with the fact that problems are better solved when their roots are identified, managed, or completely destroyed on time.
Such delicate matters could be resolved between smart and observant couples long before anyone feels threatened. In this way, some marital problems and the increasing number of divorces around the world can be reduced to its bare minimum.
Inasmuch as there’s need for openness, trust, honesty, understanding, love and unguarded emotions among partners, it’ll be an understatement to write here that couples living under the same roof don’t need spaces.
Every wife wants a man who can provide her with physical, emotional and financial security. In the same line, men want a sense of security, too.
Here’s a list of “safe spaces” we all need in marriages and relationships:
Five Minutes Madness Works For All: Your partner deserves a venting space everyday no matter the reasons. Its nerve-calming effect can never be over-estimated.
If you show him/her some understanding without being judgmental for whatever soul-chilling words and ear-tingling words you heard, your relationship will wax stronger.
Risk-taking Space: Nobody feels confident and inspired to take risks or sacrifice something of worth for a partner, unless they’re totally convinced it won’t be taken for granted, even if they fail.
A loyal partner who shows encouragement, especially when it’s “undeserved,” indirectly and unconsciously provides the other with some breathing space, good enough for adventures which may come in the form of revealing secrets, making financial investments, and taking grenades for each other.
Relationship Space: Couples come from different family backgrounds; they’re two souls beating as one. Having gone through different religious/social/academic institutions before marriage, it’s understandable that both partners must have relationships outside their marriage.
Although these “outsiders” could be family members as well as platonic/casual friends, every marriage should be independent of such “attachments.” In this way, close-knit couples can easily fall back to their soulmates when things go wrong outside.
Protected Sexual Space: A man or his wife can suffer sexual abuse, even without violence or threats of it. Exploiting a partner’s emotions for selfish reasons which may include monetary gains, favors, forced promises and more, count as “sexual suffocation.”
Understanding when your partner is in the mood for sex, and avoiding risky or repulsive sexual acts is a sure way to having a healthy marriage.
Guaranteed Confession Space: No offender in a marriage will happily tender confessions for their shortcomings if the other partner uses such as reference points in future disagreements.
It’s true that some revelations could be shocking, but everyone needs a safe confession space in order to bare their minds without fear of punishments, retaliation, or rejection from the offended partner. True confessions come with peace of mind.
No woman would ever wish to be called a “cheap **ore” after going down on her knees in tears and showing remorse for a one-night stand which was never planned.
Safe Physical Space: Ask anyone who’s in a relationship with night owls, ex-convicts, cultists, alcoholic, or ill-tempered partners. Safe physical space is a necessary condition for marriages to thrive despite claims that infighting strengthens love between some couples.