Advice for drinkers who won’t be spending this Christmas

  1. Respect the buyer.
  2. Greet the buyer before you sit.
  3. Don’t be boring. Tell a lot of stories, but don’t talk more than the buyer.
  4. Always help the buyer to carry beers from the counter.
  5. Dance to any music the buyer likes.
  6. Buyer’s jokes are always funny. So, laugh hysterically.
  7. When the buyer fights, you must join him to fight.
  8. When you come across two girls, the beautiful one belongs to the buyer.
  9. Don’t attempt to drink any beer more expensive than the buyer’s beer.
  10. Don’t try to drink more than the buyer.
  11. Help the buyer to crosscheck the bill. If it is overblown, make sure you shout at the waiter very well.
  12. If the buyer complains about the peppersoup, make sure you complain louder, so that pepper doesn’t choke the buyer.
    If not, no more beer for you this Christmas!