MEZIESBLOG

Even when people recognize the signs of self-sabotaging in relationships, they may have difficulty making changes.

Self-sabotage is when people do (or don’t do) things that block their success or prevent them from accomplishing their goals. It can happen consciously or unconsciously. Self-sabotaging behaviors can affect our personal and professional success, as well as our mental health.

These are some of the reasons you may be failing at relationships.

Projected jealousy

The green-eyed monster, we all feel it sometimes. What we do with it is another question. Do you or your partner make each other feel bad for receiving positive attention from others? 

It’s normal for people to find you/your partner attractive, and as long as you both respect and work together on your relationship, you should not let jealousy consume you.

Withholding sex & touch 

Do you and your partner withdraw affection, touch, or sex when triggered? Using sex as bait is a dangerous game to play and can often entangle with one partner committing infidelity. Intimacy is an important aspect of the relationship and should not be turned into a game of manipulation.

Instead, use it to get close to your partner and establish a stronger bond.

You find yourself pushing your partner away more and more often

This could be due to a feeling of insecurity or boredom in your relationship. If you’re finding it harder and harder to connect with your partner, it may be time to rethink things. Ask yourself whether you’re falling into a pattern of behavior that’s keeping you from moving forward as a couple.

You keep finding new reasons to argue with your spouse

Arguments are a part of every relationship. The key is to make sure you’re doing so constructively and respectfully. 

If you find yourself arguing about the same things over and over again, you may need to step back and reevaluate how you’re approaching the issue. Don’t give up completely — just try not to let your frustration get the best of you.

You keep finding yourself playing the victim

In order to maintain a healthy relationship, you need to be an active participant in the relationship. Being passive and allowing your partner to make all the decisions isn’t going to help anyone in the relationship. Try to be more proactive about your relationship — communication is key!

You don’t put effort into the relationship

If you’ve been dating for a while, there’s a good chance that both of you have changed over time. You find yourself growing apart from one another and finding less and less to talk about — when that happens, it’s usually a sign that something needs to change.

Your partner seems to be drifting away from you

If someone you care about stops making an effort to be with you, it can be incredibly painful. Sometimes people push us away because they can’t bear the pain that comes with staying in a relationship that isn’t working for them anymore. 

Don’t take it personally — they might just need some time to figure things out on their own.