A disciple went to his master and said, “I have served you faithfully for ten years. Now I have a wish: give me something to eat which will never end.”
His master said, “Here, have some chewing gum.”
It was Christmas Eve. A woman came home to her husband after a day of busy shopping. Later on that night when she was getting undressed for bed, he noticed a mark on the inside of her leg.
“What is that?” he asked.
She said, “I visited the tattoo parlor today. On the inside of one leg I had them tattoo ‘Merry Christmas,’ and on the inside of the other one they tattooed ‘Happy New Year.'”
Perplexed, he asked, “Why did you do that?”
“Well,” she replied, “now you can’t complain that there’s never anything to eat between Christmas and New Years!”